It's Linkedin, not on-line dating

Recently, I took to trawling other people's professional profiles on Linkedin in a search for nifty ideas on how to boost my own. What achievements have they highlighted? What extra-curricular activities do they list? Do they tweet and share? And if so, how regularly and frequently? Does tweeting even get you noticed by recruiters?

Despite the institutional (Code: bloody ugly) look and feel of Linkedin, and the emphasis on text-based content, you can see people trying their best to elevate their profiles. They do this with testimonials or endorsements, following groups and professional organisations (as if a million brightly coloured logos and other people's head shots could mitigate the gruesome psychiatric hospital graphic design of the site...) and of course by publishing the least appropriate, and at times very very wrong photos of themselves.

Lest you have forgotten what Linkedin is about, let me remind you: Linkedin is a social networking website designed and used almost exclusively for professional networking.

In short, it's for people looking for work and for recruiters looking for people to do the work.

According to a professional recruiter and resume writer whose services I have engaged, the unspoken (but scientifcally supported) rules for professional photos that garner the most (and the right kind of) notice are:

• Black and white
• Smiling or unsmiling, but always looking directly at the camera
• Face to fill more than 75% of the frame
• Wearing neutral or business attire

That means no poorly cropped photos of yourself at a party in the wee small hours of the morning. We can still see the arms of the people around you, the empty vodka bottles and dirty ashtrays in our collective mind's eye. Sure, the ability to drink the average depressed Russian under the table while singing 'Dancing Queen' with your mates is a good skill to have, and may make you attractive to a certain kind of person, but this is Linkedin.

It's NOT e-harmony, or RSVP.com, or any other on-line dating service.  Got it?

And what about the photos obviously taken from weddings? Where the bride has desperately trawled for the best photo she could find but even her brilliant cropping skillz (using Office, natch) can't hide the exquisite veil and tiara combo. We're happy for her - truly ruly - especially when one in three marriages ends in divorce. That she has embarked on such a lovely journey is truly super, but this is Linkedin.

It's not your Facebook or Google+ page. Got it?

Lastly, to the guys who publish photos of themselves in SCUBA gear, in sunnies holding a beer or snowboarding - are you for real?

I'm all for using erotic capital and am a big fan of it in the workplace (hey, we all need the distractions of eye-candy at work), but a site like Linkedin is crucial for making that first impression with your future employer or their representatives, so keep it neutral, business-like and professional. Look sharp, look smart, look beautiful, yes, but please stay away from photos that make you look like a slapper, a Bear Grylls wannabee, or the sort of person prepared to provide the 'other' kind of 'job'.

It's not OkCupid. Got it?