Sad really, at age
41, to have to confess to not knowing how to ride a bike, but there it is
people, my secret shame. My only experience on a two wheeled vehicle is the
bike my sisters Slim and Musty bought me when I was six. It had cool handlebars
and daggy training wheels. I rode it up and down the driveway all afternoon,
only to have it confiscated by my over-protective and controlling mother that
very evening.
Gone. Never to be
seen, heard or spoken of again.
Musty believes the
bike was given away to a neighbour. My only proof of its existence - a grainy
black and white photo of a pig-tailed me posed on it on the concrete slab that
was our back yard.
For years I have had
a love-hate relationship with cyclists. On one hand, I resent their carefree
spirit and lithe bodies and on the other hand I respect their nerves of steel
and uber-fitness. I am also fascinated by the infinite variety of bikes on the
road and have been known to share in the "fixies" vs
"non-fixies" debate with more learned bike riders...
I've always wondered
what it would be like to ride. And no, a spinning bike at the gym doesn't
count.
It wasn't until quite
recently, when Silky Karpitz (an uber-jock-chick since childhood) proposed we
do a triathlon that I had to confess I didn't know how to ride a proper bike.
Several kind (and
very shocked) people offered advice - Berber Recliner, for one, offered me his
road bike (with cleats, whatever the fuck they are) and a how-to tutorial; Red
Karpitz offered me his mountain bike. But it was Patton Karpitz who struck gold
with his suggestion that I should try learning on one of those blue rental
bikes. His reason: they're heavy and slow, designed for both genders and all
levels - essentially built for safety and comfort, NOT performance.
Perfect for a
neurotic newbie like me.
Silky jumped on the
suggestion. Before I knew it, I was locked into a lesson at Albert Park Lake -
the blue bike station at the Melbourne Sports and Aquatic Centre (MSAC) to be
precise - on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Silky as teacher. Muddy as documenter.
Red's trusty grey helmet for protection.
Muddy took care of
the bike hire, helped me and Silky extricate our bikes from the racks, and then
walk them onto the grassy spot next to the car park. Silky handed me a pair of
riding gloves in case "you tumble off and scrape the shit out of your
palms trying to break your fall."
People, if I was a
little bit frightened before, I was positively terrified now.
And yet, and yet...
Before Silky could
tell me what to do, I somehow hoiked myself up onto the seat, chucked my feet
on the pedals, gave them a push and took off. I wobbled for a few seconds and
thought I would topple, but some latent instinct or obscure muscle memory kept
me upright and in motion.
And boy was I in
motion.
“Keep pedalling fast
to keep yourself steady!” shouted Silky. But there was no need for instruction.
I was off riding my middle-aged heart out. For the next ten minutes I dodged
and wove through the big trees, hugged the edges of the grassy knoll and even
rode the little hills before coming to a stop next to a stunned Silky and
Muddy.
It felt GREAT.
Silky took me out on
the paths adjoining MSAC for a short ride, to practice braking, using the gears
and ringing the bell. Then, much to my surprise, Muddy decided to join us on
our little jaunt (after much prompting – that is, bullying - from Silky). He
rented a helmet and a bike and off we went, a cheery threesome, riding single
file around Albert Park Lake. The experience was wonderful. Liberating. Sunny, with
just a light wind and minimal traffic on Lakeside Drive to navigate.
20 minutes later, breathless
from the experience (but not the workout – those bikes are EASY) we were back
at the stand, planning a short ride to our coffee and cake reward at Carousel.
But they were shut. Buggers.
Nevertheless, we bade
our daggy blue bikes a fond farewell and went to Republic on St Kilda beach for
a coffee and restorative carbs and some back-slapping and high-fiving. Awse.
Triathlons are fine, but
there’s a whole world out there that can only be explored on two wheels and I
cannot wait to discover them.
