Nothing quite like homemade...

I am growing exceedingly fond of convenience in the kitchen, but there's nothing quite like the home-made version of a favourite food, especially when it's made from something someone close to you has grown or cultivated themselves. 

Which is how I came to make several batches of quince paste not once, but twice this month. A work colleague (let us call her Kee Bordz) very generously provided me with several bags of quinces (some bruised and battered, some with just the right amount of that weird sticky fur) from her tree. Lugging them home on the tram, my mind wandered to the possibility of making my own quince paste, given I am a fan of the Maggie Beer variety. 

I'd heard making your own was a bit of a pain, and friends had warned me it wasn't worth the effort, but I paid a visit to taste.com.au and found a recipe that looked easy enough. 

Peeling and chopping quinces is a real bitch, there's no denying, but if you have a good grip on a sharp knife and a decent peeler, you'll be right. All the recipe requires is a food processor or KitchenWiz, as well as a diffuser for your stovetop and off you go. Oh yeah, and about three hours of spare time where you will essentially be chained to your stove...

Seriously, though, despite hours of stirring, the result is worth it. I have made it twice now, using the recipe above. My only cavil is that I can't seem to get the intense berry-red colour that everyone else seems to brag about. Mine is more of a dark salmon pink. Texture and taste however, are perfect and the fact that I have had requests for it, means I'm onto a winner.

Enjoy with some creamy brie or a tangy cheddar.

Des Bishop bangs my drum

Apparently, Good Friday is about the son of God dying so that we might be saved, or redeemed or something. Or maybe it's about having extra fish with your chips to mark the start of an extra long weekend.

Anyhoo, for me and Muddy K, Good Friday this year was about having a day off work, having a late shower, and then heading into town for some Melbourne International Comedy Festival fun.

We scoffed a quick dinner of Barossa Valley shiraz and some aoli-soaked fries before noodling down to the Hi Fi Bar on Swanston Street to see Des Bishop Likes to Bang.  Why this show? Well, frankly, in the festival program, there's a photo of Mr Bishop wearing a tie. I thought 'He looks smart. He must be funny too.'

And he was. Very, very funny.

American by birth (a New Yorker to be precise), and an Irish resident since his teens, Mr Bishop has great fun taking the proverbial out of Irish drinking habits, Irish emigration, the pleasures of an Australian holiday working visa and the trauma of buying hair dye for men. He knows just how to work both the natives and the Irish expats in the crowd.

Along with an extended bit on his own teenage drinking, there is a fabulously filthy extended riff on hotel sex, menstrual sex and hotel menstrual sex:

"The maid'll walk in the next morning, thinking she's stumbled onto a crime scene."
"Do it in the shower. Pretend you're making a horror movie."
"Hey, moisture's moisture!"

The show ends with a spot of audience participation. Mr Bishop has taught himself to play a Roland V-drum kit in the belief that anyone can write a hip hop hit, provided the lyrics are just "arrogant enough" and the chorus ripped off a known, popular track. He enlists the aid of audience-member Sean from Adelaide who provides a terrific Bon Jovi "Always" chorus to accompany Mr Bishop's own hip-hop composition.

The show runs until 22 April. Check it out.

Garden of Nerdy Delights

Last Saturday morning I enjoyed a long and leisurely walk around the National Rhododendron Gardens up high in Melbourne's Dandenong Ranges, with young Hardy Ruggs, another member of the extended Karpitz-Venetian family and a fellow gardening nerd.

Whilst the rhododendrons won’t be blooming until late October / early November (and according to Hardy, they are pretty spectacular!), there’s still much to see during autumn - deciduous trees turning that perfect caramelly brown-red; Rosellas munching on Hawthorn berries, and some late-blooming Azaleas, among other gardenly delights. The cherry walk and lily-pad covered fishpond make for terrific photo opportunities, especially when the sun is shining as brightly as it was last Saturday.

Enjoy a bag of fresh figs in one of the gazebos like we did and your morning or afternoon will be complete. The gardens (which are two minutes from the centre of Olinda) open at 10am and entry is free.