Tuesday 2 September 2014

Bullshit Bingo – Part 3



Just when you thought the incorrect use of nouns as verbs hit a new low with ‘impacting’ or ‘solutioning’ (very common in IT), here’s a ripper I heard at work yesterday:

‘performancing the network’.

Yep. A moronic, functionally illiterate boffin with IT guru pretensions ala Steve, Bill, Jeff et al and a half-filled thimble’s worth of charisma stood up at a workshop and talked about some soon-to-be-installed technology hardware / infrastructure with this very phrase.

Yep.  

Performancing the network.

He then walked his audience through a Powerpoint presentation  describing the process by which selected software would be tested on this new hardware. Second dot point read:

‘Selected subjects have been targeted for execution [in the test environment]’.

(Sigh)

It truly is a corporate (IT) jungle out there.

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