Just when you thought the incorrect use of nouns as verbs
hit a new low with ‘impacting’ or ‘solutioning’ (very common in IT), here’s a
ripper I heard at work yesterday:
‘performancing the network’.
Yep. A moronic, functionally illiterate boffin with IT guru
pretensions ala Steve, Bill, Jeff et al and a half-filled thimble’s worth of
charisma stood up at a workshop and talked about some soon-to-be-installed
technology hardware / infrastructure with this very phrase.
Yep.
Performancing the
network.
He then walked his audience through a Powerpoint
presentation describing the process by
which selected software would be tested on this new hardware. Second dot point
read:
‘Selected subjects have been targeted for execution [in the
test environment]’.
(Sigh)
It truly is a corporate (IT) jungle out there.
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