"I am leaving today"...

Greetings family, friends and loved ones from Pod51 Manhattan, New York, New York, the hip hotel with the smallest, chicest, cutest, teensy-weensyest rooms in THE WORLD!!!! How small is it? Remember the near-final scene in Chopper? Eric Bana's charismatic nut-job watching himself on TV in his cell? The room in which I am sitting and writing and which the charming Eastern European housekeeper is attempting to clean while I sit at my desk and tap this out is SMALLER THAN THAT CELL!!!

But I don't complain. And you know why - 'cos I'm in NEW YORK!!!!!

"How was the flight in Dusty?" I hear you all ask. All I can say is Alan Joyce will never make his way to my Christmas card list. Why? Well, the flight out (QF93) was delayed by first 90 minutes, then two hours, then three hours, which meant there was no theoretical or real chance of catching the connecting flight (QF107) to New York. What would I do? What were my options?

Red Karpitz, my man on the ground in New York advised me of my options via email. Red's email advice, in combination with Muddy Karpitz's loving and soothing words and the assurances of the only nice Qantas ground attendant at Tulla that the next flight would be held back for those of us travelling on to New York calmed me down marginally. We boarded QF93 three and a bit hours later than scheduled and were informed during the flight that QF107 would be delayed for us. I would not miss my connection. Phew. I would, however, land in New York almost five hours later than expected, after endless queuing and waiting.

It's been 9 years since I've travelled abroad and now I know why. There is so much waiting and queuing and my reserves of patience are limited.

All this would have been easier if Qantas was a half-decent service. Folks, it ain't even an eighth-decent one. It is RUBBISH! Perfunctory service, shit food, no decent or generous booze offerings and brittle, insincere flight attendants. "I really am sorry I'm so dumb I can't get the entertainment to work but I thought Touch Screen meant I should actually touch the screen, arsehole". Compare with those national airways from those unapologetically undemocratic stinkingly rich oil countries and there is no contest. I'm flying Oil Air next time. Anywhere.

Alan Joyce, if I should see you in the street I will most definitely smack you upside the head with these vagabond shoes. Really. Fucking. Hard.

But enough bitching about Qantas. I'm in NY remember?

Red K met me at the airport and in keeping with his natural tight-fistedness, made us take the AirTrain into Midtown. Cheap and efficient >$10. I now have a Metro card that can be topped up for use on the Subway. Awse.

Took us an hour all up to get to the Pod. Chucked my luggage in the tiny room (I was upgraded to a single with ensuite. This is until Iona Chef gets here on Monday, after which she and I get the double bunks with shared facilities. For now, I can fart with impunity. Did I mention I'm on the twelfth floor and the windows actually OPEN!??) and we made our way to the Shake Shack in the Theatre District for some much-needed sustenance. This place has an amazing reputation. Duly justified. The double Shackburger was delicious and the Peanut Butter Shake sublime. I almost wept.

Briefly chatted with some lovely Kiwi and English girls who shared our table, then wandered back to the Pod, walking through Times Square, taking in the Rockefeller Centre, St Patrick's Cathedral and assorted other familiar spots and getting familiar with the lay of the place before the serious sightseeing begins. There are so many people about at 1am on Good Friday, it's astonishing. Accents, colours, shapes and sizes all jockeying for space and attention in this amazing metropolis.

It's about 10:30am on Saturday 30 March. I need to shower, dress, hit the streets and forage for breakfast. Plan is to do Top of the Rock (see NY from the top of the Rockefeller centre), and the Guggenheim Museum today. Tonight, cocktails at Bemelman's Bar at The Carlyle.

Love to all. Signing out. Look out for further updates soon.